I am experiencing many firsts this Christmas. First time away from home. First time to ride a bus. First time to see snow in the month of December. I am nervous and excited all at once. I knew leaving the Institute for Spiritual Development that while I would not have class, that I still had lessons to learn about my faith.
On the bus ride to my destination I was able to stare out giant windows at snow kissed mountains and sculptures of once flowing waterfalls. Following the winding highway brought us in and out of white frosted pines and semi-iced creeks and rivers. As I gazed at the fog hovering over the mountains I was sure that as we passed through a pocket of this mystical fog I would be instantly transported to another dimension. Suddenly, I was.
If you can imagine Narnia right after Aslan had come and the ice had started to melt. Between rushing waters and ice glazed rock faces I found myself longing to be the elvin princess in Lord of the Rings. Even Princesses have lessons to learn.
This princess already knows the lessons she has to learn over break. I have to learn how to receive and how to be taken care of. Now I am sure most of you would wonder why I have such an issue with these two things. Surely it can't be that difficult. However, for quite some time I have found my safety and security in not being in a position to need anyone. Both lessons require involvement of another person. Both lessons give me a perfect understanding of how much I need my Creator.
It sure has been easy to learn how to get along on my own. To work and make money. To have the sweet illusion that I am in control. ha ha Sweet, sweet illusion.
I am not in control. I cannot take care of myself. I need other people. I need to receive from them and be taken care of by them. Which puts me in a very vulnerable place. My heart has been broken there before. More than once. Yet here I am again. Learning to live in this place of vulnerability and need. A Princess in need. Not helpless and incapable, but having a strength in realizing that she cannot do it on her own. I cannot do it on my own.
That is my lesson over this holiday. As I have traveled to this beautiful place where mystical stories lay just beyond the next bend, I am determined to learn my spiritual lessons for this season.
On the bus ride to my destination I was able to stare out giant windows at snow kissed mountains and sculptures of once flowing waterfalls. Following the winding highway brought us in and out of white frosted pines and semi-iced creeks and rivers. As I gazed at the fog hovering over the mountains I was sure that as we passed through a pocket of this mystical fog I would be instantly transported to another dimension. Suddenly, I was.
If you can imagine Narnia right after Aslan had come and the ice had started to melt. Between rushing waters and ice glazed rock faces I found myself longing to be the elvin princess in Lord of the Rings. Even Princesses have lessons to learn.
This princess already knows the lessons she has to learn over break. I have to learn how to receive and how to be taken care of. Now I am sure most of you would wonder why I have such an issue with these two things. Surely it can't be that difficult. However, for quite some time I have found my safety and security in not being in a position to need anyone. Both lessons require involvement of another person. Both lessons give me a perfect understanding of how much I need my Creator.
It sure has been easy to learn how to get along on my own. To work and make money. To have the sweet illusion that I am in control. ha ha Sweet, sweet illusion.
I am not in control. I cannot take care of myself. I need other people. I need to receive from them and be taken care of by them. Which puts me in a very vulnerable place. My heart has been broken there before. More than once. Yet here I am again. Learning to live in this place of vulnerability and need. A Princess in need. Not helpless and incapable, but having a strength in realizing that she cannot do it on her own. I cannot do it on my own.
That is my lesson over this holiday. As I have traveled to this beautiful place where mystical stories lay just beyond the next bend, I am determined to learn my spiritual lessons for this season.
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