Lament: to grieve, wail, weep, moan.
I discovered dreams recently that I have held in my heart for quite sometime. In the process of positioning myself for God to provide for me to stay in my missions program, those dreams are very exposed. And I have realized something.
I don't trust God with my dreams.
I am afraid that I won't raise the $1350 monthly support I need in the next 2 days and my heart I so vulnerably and blindly placed in God's hand will experience a violence only death is familiar with. I so eagerly sought out dreams I didn't know I had only to discover if I trust God with them, He might take them away.
So here I am in the ER with my heart open and exposed to the One Who Loves me most. And I have a choice. I can trust Him with my dreams or I can try and do it on my own.
As much as I want to do things on my own and make my dreams happen, I know that if dreams die in that situation, they get buried and stay dead.
If. If I choose to trust these fragile dreams to the One Who Loves me most, He has the option of deciding when and where they happen. But I know that if my dreams die in this situation, they have a better chance of being raised from the dead looking better then ever. Because that is what Jesus does, ladies and gentlemen, He raises the dead.
Anything that is dead. Dreams, people, idea's, hope, love, and faith.
I spoke with my mom in the middle of my lament about this open heart surgery. The wise one said this. A vision must die like a seed before it can grow. So just die already. Die. Get it over with because then you can be resurrected. Because Jesus is in the resurrection business.
I have flat lined in that ER room. I am dying and my dreams are dying with me. I am choosing to believe that the One Who Loves me most is going to save me. Even if I am having trouble trusting Him with the desires of my heart.
Farewell dear friends. May I see you on the other side of dying dreams.
I discovered dreams recently that I have held in my heart for quite sometime. In the process of positioning myself for God to provide for me to stay in my missions program, those dreams are very exposed. And I have realized something.
I don't trust God with my dreams.
I am afraid that I won't raise the $1350 monthly support I need in the next 2 days and my heart I so vulnerably and blindly placed in God's hand will experience a violence only death is familiar with. I so eagerly sought out dreams I didn't know I had only to discover if I trust God with them, He might take them away.
So here I am in the ER with my heart open and exposed to the One Who Loves me most. And I have a choice. I can trust Him with my dreams or I can try and do it on my own.
As much as I want to do things on my own and make my dreams happen, I know that if dreams die in that situation, they get buried and stay dead.
If. If I choose to trust these fragile dreams to the One Who Loves me most, He has the option of deciding when and where they happen. But I know that if my dreams die in this situation, they have a better chance of being raised from the dead looking better then ever. Because that is what Jesus does, ladies and gentlemen, He raises the dead.
Anything that is dead. Dreams, people, idea's, hope, love, and faith.
I spoke with my mom in the middle of my lament about this open heart surgery. The wise one said this. A vision must die like a seed before it can grow. So just die already. Die. Get it over with because then you can be resurrected. Because Jesus is in the resurrection business.
I have flat lined in that ER room. I am dying and my dreams are dying with me. I am choosing to believe that the One Who Loves me most is going to save me. Even if I am having trouble trusting Him with the desires of my heart.
Farewell dear friends. May I see you on the other side of dying dreams.
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